Have you ever looked in the mirror, staring yourself down and scrutinizing every little piece of yourself. Picking out all of the bad or negative things and taking a mental note of what you wish you could change? And would if you could?
We all know that in today’s society there is a ‘look’ that is projected as what is beautiful. I am one of those people just like most women or girls that sit there scrolling through pictures of people with this so called beauty, judging myself and well basically making my self feel like a piece of shit. Which alternately makes me go to bed and hug my pillow while I rile in self hatred or think fuck it and go to the fridge and ram my mouth with chocolate or anything unhealthy I have.
See the thing is I don’t think beauty is a look; I think it is a feeling. What makes you feel beautiful? What makes you feel confident? Ultimately when you feel confident you do feel beautiful.
You know when you are told “you’re beautiful just as you are” or “you don’t need to change anything” I don’t think we should take that literally if there is something we want to do to make ourselves feel better about who we are. And there is a healthy solution available to get us where we want to be.
Lets just get one thing straight, we are who we are yes, but I don’t feel we have to accept what we look like if it doesn’t make us feel confident or happy or pretty or whatever you want to be. And that is ok.
We all try to fix things about ourselves, whether that is by wearing make-up, waxing our brows, shaving our legs, and working out. Even to more permanent measures such as lip fillers, breast enlargements or Botox. Even when people get tattoos that others don’t agree with I think each to there own, as it is a personal choice we are entitled to make and doesn’t change who we are beneath the surface. I just want to be the one to say it is ok, even if no one else agrees with you. Most people are so judgemental about what you want to do to your body or face. But its not us trying to hide who we are its just us trying to make improvements so we feel self assured and not insecure. We can go out and flaunt it and that is what makes us feel beautiful because we are confident.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want readers to take this post that I am encouraging that we should be doing things to change our body because that’s what todays hype is all about, its just my opinion that we shouldn’t feel guilty or judged for doing what we wish. It is my belief that there is also a line and we shouldn’t do things other than for our own benefits or ourselves. Some people might not agree but at the end of the day we are all individuals.
The major thing though that we do have to remind ourselves in conjunction with my previous statement is that there should be a point where you realise that we are all on our own journey. We are all separate and different people to one another and that we have to remember that ‘one look’ isn’t classified as beautiful however much it is promoted to look that way. Some of us are curvy, skinny, short, tall, have ginger hair, have a flat butt, and so many more different features that make us, us. Some things we can't change no, but if you can make a change for the better and it is healthy for you to do so then do it, to even simply change by eating better and exercising that is an amazing step to better yourself not only physically but mentally too. We do not realise the emotional toll it takes on some women to feel insignificant because they don’t look like a Kardashian. I just always want you to remember beauty and confidence goes beneath the surface and if you are truly happy in yourself that light inside of you will radiate to everyone around you.
It makes me feel so sad that most women do not feel confident and feel insecure. But like I said it is OK to want to change. You don’t have to accept anything about yourself and you can do anything you want if you want it enough, as long as it is the right thing to do for you according to your circumstances, and there are always people out there to help you in your journey, whether that being family or friends or even seeing a professional, because like I said mental health is imperative.
My story is I constantly try to cover myself up; we are the worst critics of ourselves. I have lots of thick stretch marks and huge boobs that make me look out of proportion, as I am only 5’1. I cant wear jeans because of all the loose skin from my two pregnancies and my legs are far too short to find any that will fit me, such as a 6 fits me in the leg but I would say I easily need a 12 round my stomach. Some of you might think this is a small price to pay, but to me it is a great deal and we all have our own dislikes that others may not get.
I always wear leggings and a baggy t-shirt or those knickers that go up to your tits but then make you look like you are 6 months pregnant anyways so they are an epic fail. Especially on a night out when you want to look sexy but then you drink your body weight in wine and go to wee and find out you can't get the fuckers down or back up and have to call in your mate to help you shove all the jelly bits back in. Yep that’s what I deal with, I have top-notch friends.
People hardly ever look at my face because all they see is boobs, and wearing a plain old singlet makes me look like a slut so on goes the jacket even when the sun is beaming down.
I try to embrace who I am and my flaws, but not necessarily accepting them. I will work towards a better me because that is OK. I will wake up in the morning and do my make-up how I wish even if I am just going to the shops; it’s a confidence thing for most of us no because we are trying to nab ourselves a man while we are at the butchers.
I will get botox on my wrinkled forehead when I have finished breastfeeding because it will make me happy and that is OK.
I will be getting a tummy tuck and breast reduction because I CAN. I know it’s not all about looks but taking drastic measures such as I am doing is sometimes the right thing if there is a medical reason (which I have) or if it will significantly improve your mental health.
I don’t regret anything I have done.
Do I regret having my amazing kids because they gave me stretch marks and still pee a little when I sneeze? The answer is no!
Can I do things to improve how I feel the answer is yes, and I don’t feel bad about it. You have every right to be who you want to be, and be your own kind of beautiful. Don’t compare yourself to other people, but don’t settle and feel insecure if you aren’t happy either, because you’ve got this!! Do what is necessary and own the shit out of it, be confident and your BEAUTY will shine through.
I do just want to remind you before I say goodbye, there is always good and bad in your life – nothing is ever perfect and it never will be, you have been dealt your cards and you have to do the best you can with the hand you have been given. If you ever feel like things are getting on top of you or you are not happy even if its for a split second, take a look at all the positive things in your life, your kids, your hubby, the roof over your head and soak it all in. Life is always going to have negatives and they can wait a while. Keep smiling and holding your head high, some days you might not feel like it but if you ever need a pick me up, you know where I am.