Surely I can't be the only one who thinks this. After 7 years of being in a serious relationship and having two kids literally nothing is sacred. Living your life with someone, sharing a house and pretty much all experiences (even peeing with the door open) doesn’t leave much mystery in the connection you share with your partner.
After months of the same old cycle, last night I asked my sister to baby sit and my partner and I decided it was time for a date night, to spend some alone time together.
I made a beautiful platter and bought some drinks, we headed to the beach to watch the sunset, talk and just relax, you know like those moments when you first date someone and you stay up talking until the sun rises and you're all cute and if he touches your hand your hairs stand on end.
Well my other half was asleep on the couch at 5pm with some shit show on TV that no one was even watching, so I said “come on time to go” we drove down to the beach where we found the sun had bloody set on my romantic idea and fucking hurricane sandy take 2 was happening. So a no go for my cheese and crackers because lets face it that shit is way too valuable. We then progressed to a picnic area where there was a huge sign which read “no alcohol to be consumed $200 fine occurs on the spot” so fuck that because lets be honest, ain’t nobody got time for that.
We proceeded to the closest pub where we were cautious whether we could get in being in thongs, you know because we thought we were going for a romantic beach date. Anyhow we got inside ordered a bevvy and food and sat down to COMPLETE SILENCE.
Legitimately we had nothing to talk about. What is there really to talk about to someone you spend your entire life with, and even the time you spend apart really isn’t that exciting. For instance it's not like I can give him a run down on how the morning poo went as this was only part of my day he wasn’t involved in and probably the most exciting thing to happen to me so far today.
I know you are supposed to take time out for each other in a relationship, and that’s all good and well, but when that line is crossed and your lives seem to melt in to one, is there a point where nothing is sacred anymore and you have nothing to share. Its sad but true how you do end up having a night off from the kids and responsibilities to end up scrolling through pictures of them while they are sleeping and saying “awww look at them’ then back to silence.
We decided to call it a night after we had eaten and proceeded for a night time walk on the beach where we both sat down and basically said “wow we really can't remember what we used to talk about before kids, and a mortgage”.
We got back to the car; we had been on our date exactly an hour. I started the commute home and about 10 minutes into the journey looked over to the passenger seat to find my man asleep. I glanced at the clock, which read 7.34pm. What a wild night.
I walked in the door to be greeted by my 3 year old who grilled me about staying out after dark.
We got on the couch and snuggled and I smiled to myself and realised just exactly how much our life has changed. How after the comfort zone has been entered, there really is no going back.
If you are content with your life you just get on with it, we will try again to make time for us and we will always try. That’s what keeps the flame from going out and that’s what keeps us sane. But for the moment we are quite happy being parents to two little humans whom we made together and we feel blessed everyday and know one day our time for romance will come again. Even if its not now.
Ps the platter is now in the fridge and is what I like to call tomorrow night’s dinner.